I’ve created a new energy …
I’ve created a new energy saving lightbulb. It doesn’t use less electricity, it’s just easier to put in.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I think I’ll have a BBQ t …
I think I’ll have a BBQ today seeing as it’s a nice day. I’ve already had my burgers and sausages delivered from Iceland, the hot ash should be arriving any time now.
Continue ReadingI realised I didn’t have …
I realised I didn’t have many friends when I tried to text Dave and scrolled down my contacts list and accidentally texted Stuart.
Continue ReadingEver since my addiction t …
Ever since my addiction to children’s playgrounds started, my social life has been on the slide.
Continue ReadingI was reading this book t …
I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue. I couldn’t put it down.
Continue ReadingMy wife suffers from ME. …
My wife suffers from ME. Mainly when I punch her in the face.
Continue Reading“Postal workers have been …
“Postal workers have been striking for a week now and have nothing to show for it I know how they feel, I’ve been striking the wife for years
Continue ReadingHere’s a question for all …
Here’s a question for all the philosophers out there. If something is listed on page 2 of a google search, does it really exist?
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the ma …
Did you hear about the mathematician who worked out in the sun? He became a tan gent.
Continue ReadingI’ve just finished my tou …
I’ve just finished my tour of Afghanistan… It wasn’t the best place to film my stand-up DVD.
Continue ReadingI’ve finally figured out …
I’ve finally figured out a way to get my dog to do as I tell him… I tell him to do what he wants.
Continue ReadingThe Costa Concordia disas …
The Costa Concordia disaster appears to have been caused by the captain failing to turn in time. Strange that. The Italians turned very quickly in World War II.
Continue ReadingToday I bought a talking …
Today I bought a talking bookcase. Which speaks volumes.
Continue ReadingI watched a Spanish man d …
I watched a Spanish man do a back-flip on his skateboard. After that he did an ol.
Continue ReadingI’ve always had a bit of …
I’ve always had a bit of an eye for the ladies. It’s never done me any good though, they tend to be absolutely disgusted when I get it out of my pocket to show them.
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