Cancer – Loves the jobs …
Cancer – Loves the jobs you hate.
Continue ReadingCancer – Loves the jobs you hate.
Continue ReadingHaving to mark GCSE papers from a comprehensive school, where everybody always scores lower than a C, is very degrading.
Continue ReadingI went out poaching endangered species yesterday… Now I’m playing golf with tiger woods.
Continue Reading‘A juicy, roast Turkey glaced with fine Honey’.. ‘Fresh Carrots hand picked in the British Countryside’.. This isn’t any food… This is overpriced, poncey food.
Continue ReadingI’m starting a collection of STI’s any of you dirty skets care to donate any to me? Ooops, my mistake, I thought this was the facebook fan page for pregnant teenagers.
Continue ReadingI’m just nipping next door to wish my Muslim neighbours a Happy Eid, I hope they like the giant ham I’ve got them and the case of Stella…
Continue ReadingJust put my iPhone in airplane mode It flew away
Continue ReadingWanna see a funny reaction? Sit down at dinner, look very seriously at your children and inform them that due to the economic crisis, you’re gonna have let one of them go.
Continue ReadingImpulses They really get on my nerves
Continue ReadingWhy did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn’t get his Stilton.
Continue ReadingI literally can’t find the words to tell you how poor my vocabulary is.
Continue ReadingTech support: What version of windows do you have installed? Me: Double glazed.
Continue ReadingA drunk girl accused me of being a “Prehistoric dinosaur” So I Raptor
Continue ReadingAt yesterday’s house party, everyone must’ve been too full of turkey, as this huge buffet was going to waste. Finally the owners announced that anything not eaten, could we help them by taking some of it home .. It was so kind of them .. The wife and I love our new sofa and TV.
Continue ReadingIn the year 3000, youtube, twitter and facebook will merge into one huge time wasting website called ‘YouTwitFace’.
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