qjoq.com – Page 1301

Went down to the running …

Went down to the running track this morning, and ended up pulling my groin. I couldn’t help it. Seeing all those little athletics kids in spandex pushed me over the edge . . . .

I was going to crack anot …

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I was going to crack another joke about the Periodic Table. I then decided I didn’t want to make a Copper, Neutronium of myself…

My wife stormed in with a …

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My wife stormed in with a red face and screamed at me that I’m too obsessed with Batman. Why so serious?

My wife said, “I’m sick o …

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My wife said, “I’m sick of these strange looks you keep giving me” Which shattered my confidence as her personal stylist.

I used to have a raw meat …

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I used to have a raw meat addiction, but now it’s cured.

Did you hear about the pa …

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Did you hear about the panda who lost his food? He was Bamboozled…

I tried to read The Sun y …

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I tried to read The Sun yesterday but it kept making my eyes water.

I hate working in the bub …

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I hate working in the bubble bath factory. Ray docks all my wages.

I don’t see what the big …

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I don’t see what the big deal is. Meerkats all look the same to me.

I went into a tower block …

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I went into a tower block yesterday and saw a sign that said ‘IFTL’ Apparently the lift was out of order.

I was going to have some mates round the flat later, so I figured I’d cook a meal. I found a dish that looked promising: In a pan, heat 1 cup of D until boiling, reduce heat and let simmer. After 5 minutes add 1 Tsp of I and cover for 15 minutes. In a […]