If people on Match.com we …
If people on Match.com were so brilliant and funny and intelligent, surely they would have girlfriends?
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What’s yellow and tastes …
What’s yellow and tastes of bananas? Monkey sick.
Continue ReadingMy wife left me because o …
My wife left me because of my obsession with Chorizo The silly sausage.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call all the …
What do you call all the best jokers on Sickipedia? British.
Continue ReadingMy mates call me Pepperam …
My mates call me Pepperami. Not because i’ve got a fiery temper. Its because i ate my kids.
Continue ReadingI thought I had all the a …
I thought I had all the angles covered but I still failed my Geometry exam.
Continue ReadingThe sky was dark, the moo …
The sky was dark, the moon was high; All alone, just her and I. Her hair was so soft; her eyes so blue, I knew just what she wanted to do. Her skin so soft; her legs so fine, I ran my fingers down her spine. I didn’t know how, but I tried my best; […]
Continue Readingwas at my Pianist Uncles …
was at my Pianist Uncles funeral today. It was very low-key.
Continue ReadingI was watching tv and a a …
I was watching tv and a advert came on “have you had and accident in the past 9 months that wasn’t your fault?… call national accident helpline….” I sat and thought about it for a minute and decided to give them a call apparently the condom splitting is’nt enough to claim compensation……..
Continue ReadingI’m no brain surgeon, wh …
I’m no brain surgeon, which is why I was escorted from the scene of the accident in handcuffs.
Continue ReadingI’m not a violent person …
I’m not a violent person and I certainly don’t agree with hitting kids. I’ve never laid a single finger on my son. I’ve stuck a couple up my daughter though.
Continue ReadingJust had a Job interview …
Just had a Job interview with G4S. It went rather well! They said I should hear back in september
Continue ReadingIronically my Muslim girl …
Ironically my Muslim girlfriend who’ve cheated on me lives just a stones throw away.
Continue ReadingMy mate just asked me to …
My mate just asked me to be usher at his wedding. He can’t afford a band and loves his R&B.
Continue ReadingHow to tell Scottish wome …
How to tell Scottish women from Scottish men since they both wear kilts. The one listening is the man.
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