Sickipedia don’t do lager …
Sickipedia don’t do lager . But if they did it would probably be the cheapest, nastiest lager in the world.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My next door neighbours j …
My next door neighbours just asked me if I can look after their 2 cats while they go on holiday to Spain next week. “Yes, that’s fine,” I replied, “I presume you’ll be paying for my flights & accommodation?”
Continue ReadingMy flatmate keeps nicking …
My flatmate keeps nicking my memory stick. He really gets my back up.
Continue ReadingI have a tip for you It’s …
I have a tip for you It’s the end of my shaft
Continue ReadingAs it’s a bank holiday we …
As it’s a bank holiday weekend I decided to post a photo of my caravan on Twitter before hitching it to my car and setting off to Newquay. I now have 15,000 followers.
Continue ReadingI’ve recently opened a ve …
I’ve recently opened a vegetarian restaurant in America. It’s called ‘Don’t Have a Cow, Man.’
Continue ReadingI was given tablets to he …
I was given tablets to help me stop being immature. The packet said “69 tablets for oral use only.” I’m still immature.
Continue ReadingI’ve just finished writti …
I’ve just finished writting a song about my old girlfriend. It’s called “They’ll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away ‘Cause I’m Not Raking ‘Til Spring.”
Continue ReadingI saw barrel of oil perfo …
I saw barrel of oil perform at a comedy club the other day. He was slick but his jokes were crude.
Continue ReadingI caught my daughter spra …
I caught my daughter spraying graffiti over the side of the house yesterday. She’d written, “Juxtaposition”. I asked her, “What is the meaning of this?”
Continue ReadingI buy all my genes from P …
I buy all my genes from Primark. So I too, can be a hard-working young Asian.
Continue ReadingIf all the sickipedia for …
If all the sickipedia forum topics were laid end to end, they still wouldn’t reach a conclusion.
Continue ReadingIn my spare time I like t …
In my spare time I like to help homeless people find the nearest shelter. It’s pretty easy, I just tell them to follow the the first bus that drives past.
Continue ReadingA mate of mine is a bit w …
A mate of mine is a bit worried about his 8-year old daughter. She’s not integrating well with the other kids at school. I think she’s a bit young to be doing calculus.
Continue ReadingI’m a cold, calculating s …
I’m a cold, calculating sort of person. I do my accounting in a fridge.
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