it’s not wife beating, it …
it’s not wife beating, it’s just constructive criticism.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
“Vigil held in Birmingham …
“Vigil held in Birmingham” I don’t know where the other Thunderbirds are.
Continue ReadingI went shopping the other …
I went shopping the other day to get away from the wife. When I got back she asked me what I bought. I said “I bought a sausage dog” She said “Awwww u bought me a pet” I said “No, I went to the butchers”
Continue Reading“I’m sending you to priso …
“I’m sending you to prison for 3 months”, said the judge. “What’s the charge?”, I asked. “There’s no charge, everything’s free!”, replied the judge.
Continue ReadingA recent news article cla …
A recent news article claimed that the Mona Lisa was the most beautiful woman in history. She’s not bad, but she’s no oil painting.
Continue ReadingI’ve brought one of those …
I’ve brought one of those shower cubicles which can withstand 40,000 bangs before it will shatter. I am not happy… I only hit it 39,456 times and it smashed.
Continue ReadingSay what you want about t …
Say what you want about the Make a Wish foundation. But they know how to work to a deadline.
Continue ReadingMy wife has just given bi …
My wife has just given birth to twin daughters. She asked me “What do you think of when you look at them both together?” Apparently “Threesome” was not the answer she had hoped for.
Continue ReadingWalker’s crisps are reall …
Walker’s crisps are really missing out on the chance for a great trick with their latest “What’s the flavour?” commercials. If it was me, I’d have told that Muslim woman it was bacon flavour.
Continue Reading“Laugh and the world laug …
“Laugh and the world laughs with you” …. is the maxim likely to get you ejected from the crowd at the Special Olympics.
Continue ReadingI remember years ago, Wak …
I remember years ago, Waking up really early on christmas day, Running down stairs, Ripping open one of my presents… But unfortunately it was a puppy.
Continue ReadingLook, at the end of the d …
Look, at the end of the day , i go to bed
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend was devasta …
My girlfriend was devastated to find out that my mates call me ‘The Love Machine’ because I’m terrible at tennis.
Continue ReadingMy wife said she’s leavin …
My wife said she’s leaving me because of my false optimism. Oh well, she’ll be back tomorrow.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s been in labour …
My wife’s been in labour for eight months now and she’s still getting bigger every day. She could only get a job as a brick-layer after KFC fired her.
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