News Headline “British sp …
News Headline “British spy found stuffed in a bag” James Bondage, perhaps?
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My boss asked me if I lik …
My boss asked me if I liked Thai food. “Yeah, boss. Love it.” Then he pointed out that I’d dribbled my lunch down my shirt front.
Continue ReadingAfter twenty years of res …
After twenty years of research and hard work, I have finally perfected my tractor beam. Now I have no idea what to do with all these tractors…
Continue ReadingWhy did the Gallus gallus …
Why did the Gallus gallus domesticus traverse the roadway? Because the agricultural overseer had not correctly maintained his fowl coop perimeter, taking the necessary precautions to avoid a potential escape of his stock which, accompanying the financial inconvenience, could in fact pose a threat to the motor vehicles upon the nearby roadway; also risking the […]
Continue ReadingWhy on facebook can you o …
Why on facebook can you only have a Relationship status with one person?
Continue ReadingI only date homeless girl …
I only date homeless girls. They are absolutly filthy in bed.
Continue ReadingEvery time I fall asleep …
Every time I fall asleep I keep seeing horses. I think it’s nightmares.
Continue ReadingHonesty is the best polic …
Honesty is the best policy. That’s a lie.
Continue ReadingWhen I stand in front of …
When I stand in front of all my fans… I’m blown away.
Continue ReadingI bought some RAC breakdo …
I bought some RAC breakdown cover today. Quite handy if I ever lose my head and go mental.
Continue ReadingWell my girlfriend has ju …
Well my girlfriend has just left me due to my obsession with 80’s band Roxette. It must have been love but it’s over now.
Continue ReadingDutch scientists claimed …
Dutch scientists claimed this week that one cup of coffee could prevent drivers from crashing. Just Buy a large latte from Starbucks and you won’t be able to afford any petrol.
Continue ReadingToday was weird; I woke u …
Today was weird; I woke up this morning and I could feel tension mounting….he`s my dog
Continue ReadingPolice caught me thieving …
Police caught me thieving calenders from W.H Smiths today, I’m going down for a few years.
Continue Reading“Two’s company, three’s a …
“Two’s company, three’s a crowd” As they like to say at Wigan Athletic.
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