Why did the polish man cr …
Why did the polish man cross the road? Because the other side was dirty.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Just got engaged to a pen …
Just got engaged to a pencil. Can’t wait to introduce everyone to my wife 2B.
Continue ReadingI’ve just invented an iro …
I’ve just invented an irony detector. It’s detects absolutely everything, apart from irony.
Continue ReadingWhy is the speed limit so …
Why is the speed limit so low around primary schools? So you can pick out the one you want…?
Continue ReadingI’ve got myself a job as …
I’ve got myself a job as a primary school caretaker. I don’t know about the care bit, but I’m definitely taking one of them.
Continue ReadingThe boomerang is Australi …
The boomerang is Australia’s biggest export. (And then import.)
Continue ReadingMy wife says that getting …
My wife says that getting married is the best feeling in the world. She’s obviously never posted a joke on Sickipedia, then get called away immediately to return in 4 hours and find out that it is showing on the front page of Todays’ Best Jokes.
Continue ReadingGuitar pioneer Les Paul h …
Guitar pioneer Les Paul has died aged 94. The police have no leads but state there is no need to fret and suspect he may have snapped his neck.
Continue ReadingMy wife said to me “I sen …
My wife said to me “I sense that your feelings towards me are rather ambivalent”. I replied “Well, yes and no”.
Continue ReadingI saw the moon landing fo …
I saw the moon landing for the first time yesterday. I wonder who was flying it.
Continue ReadingIf you don’t like the way …
If you don’t like the way women drive then don’t walk on the pavement.
Continue ReadingLeave glue-sniffers alone …
Leave glue-sniffers alone. They get enough stick as it is.
Continue ReadingMy teenage son came home …
My teenage son came home last night wearing a brand new pair of trainers. I said to him, “Where did you get them from, I hope you didn’t get them from looting?”. No, he replied, “I got them in Hackney.”
Continue ReadingMy wife’s making jams tod …
My wife’s making jams today. She’s gone out driving.
Continue ReadingBBC News- man found chopp …
BBC News- man found chopped up in the River Hull A spokswomen for the family said that they loved him to bits
Continue Reading