We may be made from snips …
We may be made from snips of snails and puppy dogs’ tails, but at least we don’t smell of fish.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
After dropping acid with …
After dropping acid with a friend he turned to me and said, “I think I’m having a bad trip. I feel like a rotten apple, do you know what I mean?” I said, “Nah mate, I feel peachy.”
Continue ReadingA Korean meat factory has …
A Korean meat factory has exploded. It rained dogs.
Continue ReadingA woman is breastfeeding …
A woman is breastfeeding her baby in the park when a man walks up to her and says: “Hey, by the way, your baby just invited me to dinner.”
Continue ReadingSo that NSPCC ‘Change you …
So that NSPCC ‘Change your picture to a beloved cartoon character’ was a scam by a paedophile designed to make them easier to accept. But to be honest, anyone who accepts a total stranger solely because their picture is Mickey Mouse deserves to get abducted, abused and killed.
Continue Readingin 1994, the scatman was …
in 1994, the scatman was a dance music smash hit. Nowadays he’d be the most disgusting superhero ever,
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend and I have …
My girlfriend and I have been going through an A-Z of Greek Islands to decide where to go on our holidays. In desperation we eventually chose Zakynthos, It was the last resort.
Continue ReadingMy wife thinks I’m a quit …
My wife thinks I’m a quitter, I’ve had enough.
Continue ReadingA woman was in town on a …
A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent, when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that […]
Continue ReadingI went to the ugliest swi …
I went to the ugliest swingers party last night, every one a minger. Should have known really, the invite said it was a ‘Pig & Mix’..
Continue ReadingRowan Atkinson: “I’m too …
Rowan Atkinson: “I’m too old to play Mr. Bean again.” Does this mean he’s now a Has Bean?
Continue ReadingIt’s been in the news rec …
It’s been in the news recently that Steve Jobs has taken time off from his job at Apple to recover from being ill. He’s got iCancer.
Continue ReadingThe lads at work said I l …
The lads at work said I lack conviction. “Five years you’ve been here and not one arrest,” one said. “Call yourself a detective.”
Continue ReadingAfter hours of carefully …
After hours of carefully infiltrating a well-known drug dealers hideout, all of the drug dealers managed to get away, furious the leading Police Chief looks for his second in command, he shouts; ‘I thought I told you men to watch all the exits!’ ‘But sir’ replies the officer ‘We did watch all the exits’ ‘So, […]
Continue ReadingGuy 1: “If my boss doesn’ …
Guy 1: “If my boss doesn’t take back what he said to me, I’m leaving the company.” Guy 2: “What did he say?” Guy 1: “Leave the company.”
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