I saw my girlfriend lying …
I saw my girlfriend lying on our bed looking miserable. I said, “Let’s turn that frown upside down.” Any excuse for a 69.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
might splash out on a wat …
might splash out on a water bed
Continue ReadingSickipedia have released …
Sickipedia have released an update to their iPhone app, version 2.0. It’s funny. I’d have thought they would go straight from version 1.0 to 1.6 or 2.3 or maybe even -0.8.
Continue ReadingSky News: Children Left I …
Sky News: Children Left In Limbo Over Care Decisions That’s not going to keep them safe being bent over like that, it’s practically an invitation!
Continue ReadingI’ve started making solid …
I’ve started making solid gold action figures from the Lord of the Rings franchise. It’s an expensive hobbit.
Continue ReadingI just got 25 kills and n …
I just got 25 kills and no deaths with my ump-45 and my desert eagle. did i get a tactical nuke? no i got arrested.
Continue ReadingSince being cleared of ne …
Since being cleared of negligence, my train driving career’s back on track.
Continue ReadingA mate of mine’s girlfrie …
A mate of mine’s girlfriend is late and he said there’s nothing worse than waiting for her to get her period. He’s obviously never felt the anxiety of opening up 1 Unread Message.
Continue ReadingI promised my romantic gi …
I promised my romantic girlfriend the other day that I would stay up with until we see the sun rise in the British countryside. A week later I’m starting to fall asleep.
Continue ReadingI thought i would make th …
I thought i would make the mother in laws room more comfy as she is staying for a while , i just don’t know where to put the bikes and the lawn mower.
Continue ReadingMe and the girlfriend jus …
Me and the girlfriend just arrived in Vietnam, and I was soon sent into hysterics finding out that the currency there is called the dong. “It’s not that funny,” she scolded, as I was laughing my head off. She soon shut up when I told her I’d put my money where her mouth is.
Continue Reading“This changes everything! …
“This changes everything!” I said as I found my old Tip-Ex.
Continue ReadingIn Scotland recently, I w …
In Scotland recently, I was in the countryside and said to a bloke: “See that young bull over there? I bet I could knock it out and floor it.” “Nae chance” he laughed, “everyone knows that wee bulls wobble but they don’t fall down.”
Continue ReadingI proposed to my fiancee …
I proposed to my fiancee last week, but she rejected. She said ”No, sorry… If you’re going to propose to me, you should do it properly and give me a ring!” So I’m dialling her number now to try it again ‘properly’. Wish me luck!
Continue ReadingI have just come back fro …
I have just come back from a short break in Korea.. Let me tell you their “Slush Puppies” are nothing like ours.
Continue Reading