To get to the other side. …
To get to the other side. Why did the tachyon cross the road?
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I vowed to sneak into a P …
I vowed to sneak into a Phil Collins concert without a ticket but people said I would never succeed. Despite heavy security and CCTV I was able to blag my way in at the end and hear him sing the last song, it was against all odds
Continue Reading“I got ripped in 4 weeks” …
“I got ripped in 4 weeks” Oh and I see you got a face lift while you were at it.
Continue ReadingToday I decided to leave …
Today I decided to leave work an hour early. You should have seen the look on the co-pilot’s face as I grabbed the parachute.
Continue ReadingI just watched an advert …
I just watched an advert which said “no one knows P&O cruises like Thomas Cook” I don’t want to be pedantic but surely P&O know better!
Continue ReadingBeware the witching hour! …
Beware the witching hour! In other words; when the Americans are online!
Continue ReadingI quit my job as a Chirop …
I quit my job as a Chiropractor today. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
Continue ReadingBlunt knives are pointles …
Blunt knives are pointless.
Continue ReadingI got a new job at a Chin …
I got a new job at a Chinese restaurant. It’s dog eat dog!
Continue ReadingWhat’s the hardest part o …
What’s the hardest part of telling your son he’s adopted? For me it was learning Chinese.
Continue ReadingA man goes home to his wi …
A man goes home to his wife and shows her his latest tattoo of a spreadsheet on his chest. “You’ve really Excelled yourself this time!” she says.
Continue ReadingSickipedia is like every …
Sickipedia is like every fit girl I’ve ever met.. It’s impossible to get on.
Continue ReadingPain is temporary, succes …
Pain is temporary, success is permanent. Just like that temporary bit of pain before that permanent thing… Death.
Continue ReadingDefy the government at th …
Defy the government at the start of British Summer Time by refusing to put your clocks forward at 2.00 in the morning. ‘Save’ the hour for later in the day. You still get your lie-in and you can fast forward your day when it suits you, like when there is nothing on telly.
Continue ReadingGoing to have stop spendi …
Going to have stop spending all day on sickipedia and get a job. Just found out they’re stopping my Joke Seekers Allowance.
Continue Reading