qjoq.com – Page 1245

`I’m looking for that Ste …

January 24qjoq.comLeave a Comment

`I’m looking for that Stephen Hawking book in paperback.’ Librarian: `Is that the one without a spine.’

I’ve just been compliment …

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I’ve just been complimented by a junkie. High praise indeed.

BBC News: ‘Transgender ho …

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BBC News: ‘Transgender hopeful enters Miss Universe’ But I thought the winner hadn’t been decided yet?

I just started to rummage …

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I just started to rummage through my teenage sister’s knicker drawer then quickly realised I was doing something totally wrong – I should check the laundry basket first.

At the start of the exam, …

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At the start of the exam, the invigilator says, “You have exactly 2 hours. I will not accept any papers after this time has elapsed.” Two hours later, the invigilator calls out, “Time’s up, Ladies and Gentlemen.” One student is still scribbling away ten minutes later when the invigilator has all the collected papers in […]

I just finished watching …

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I just finished watching Clint Eastwood’s ‘Invictus’. I love films about real life events because you learn whilst enjoying the movie. For example, I never knew that Nelson Mandela was personally responsible for the South African’s rugby world cup win.

I’ve just brought my mate …

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I’ve just brought my mate a 10 B&Q gift card… You never know when you might need a broom and three screws.

It’s a pity the allied fo …

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It’s a pity the allied forces didn’t use wikipedia to find hitler. We’d have won the war in under 5 clicks.

Of all the things that Da …

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Of all the things that Darth Vader lost when the Death Star blew up, it was the destruction of his George Michael box set that affected him most deeply. He finds his lack of Faith disturbing.

A black horse went into a …

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A black horse went into a pub, and the barman says, “Did you know there’s a pub down the road named after you?” The black horse replied, “What? There’s a pub called Jehmal?”