I went to a West End show with my family last week. The underground is so crowded in London, you have to jump out when you can. My dad and brother squeezed out first, then I saw an opportunity, so I got off with my Mum. People looked at us a bit strangely, but we […]
Continue ReadingMy neighbour accused me of being a flasher the other day. I almost tripped over my pants.
Continue ReadingFOOTLOOSE- Kevin Bacon plays a teenager who moves from Chicao to a small town where rock music and dancing is banned So he sticks two fingers up at the establishment… By dancing like a fairy in an abandoned warehouse. What a rebel
Continue ReadingMy daughter is a university student at Harvard in America, but she said she wants to swim for Great Britain. “I know it’s bad honey,” I said on the phone to her, “But that is over 3000 miles of open water.”
Continue ReadingThe doctor told us that my wife only had days to live. I began to get really worried for our children. It was going to be a nightmare finding foster parents at such short notice.
Continue ReadingI feel sorry for the guy at the top left of the google chrome incognito screen. THE THINGS HE HAS SEEN!!
Continue ReadingRecent research suggests that a three minute burst of intense activity once a week could give noticeable benefits in fitness and weight loss. That’s all very well but some of us are married.
Continue Reading“Dad, I’m pregnant”. “What! Don’t you have any scruples?” “Yes, but I forgot to take them”.
Continue ReadingIllegal downloading is getting worse these days, and I think it is disgraceful. If you download a P.Diddy song, you’re not only stealing from him, you’re also stealing from whoever he stole it from in the first place.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend wants to kill herself but she’s too lazy to do it. Sue is idle.
Continue ReadingI saw a man dressed as a Tesco worker drowning today so I threw him a cork. Every little helps.
Continue Readingphoned my boss to tell him i would not be working today as i have a problem with my my eyes. “conjunctivitis?” my boss asked me “no” i replied “I just can’t see my self working”
Continue ReadingA router goes into a doctor’s office and says, “It hurts when IP.”
Continue ReadingI saw an angry insect sitting on my french pastry. It was a Croissant.
Continue ReadingThe wife had 400 friends on facebook until she put her photo on there. Now has only 2.
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