If there’s one thing I ha …
If there’s one thing I hate. It’s people who moan about other people.
Continue ReadingYour joke, which read: ‘w …
Your joke, which read: ‘wheels, drums, horses and trumpets’ Has been deleted. It was part of a BandWagon.
Continue ReadingSo,I see McDonald’s new s …
So,I see McDonald’s new slogan is “We do Happy!” But I find Grumpy or Sleepy generally more doable…
Continue ReadingI was cooking earlier wit …
I was cooking earlier with a ‘family size’ jar of pasta sauce. Must have been a small family.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend has been ta …
My girlfriend has been taking a lot of smack recently. And a fair old bit of kick and punch.
Continue ReadingMy dentist asked me if I …
My dentist asked me if I knew the medical benefits of straightness and whiteness. Apparently, it is not “an immunity to AIDS.”
Continue ReadingMy mate told me he’d read …
My mate told me he’d read a survey where they said the youth of today are influenced by and commits crimes because of video games Yea we had non of that in our day I replied as I swung a big ball attached to a chain at a Hedgehog I’d painted blue.
Continue ReadingNorth Korea ‘fires more m …
North Korea ‘fires more missiles’ : What a tragedy that the recession is even affecting the employment of missiles.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s mum died last w …
My wife’s mum died last week, in her chair whilst doing a crossword. Ever since it happened, I’ve been sneaking in puns about how she died to our conversations, and its been really winding my wife up. Earlier today, we went to visit her mum’s grave for the first time. She said, “Right, whilst we’re […]
Continue ReadingWhilst downloading a 4GB …
Whilst downloading a 4GB movie in only 5 mins, I have the right to say my internet is pretty fly for a WiFi.
Continue ReadingIf I had a penny for ever …
If I had a penny for every time I walked past a penny without picking it up, I’d have loads of pennies.
Continue ReadingSainsbury’s told me today …
Sainsbury’s told me today to ‘Take an old bag shopping’ I’d love to but I try to keep her locked in the kitchen.
Continue ReadingI complained to the counc …
I complained to the council that the street I live on has no name. They said they’ll address it at the next board meeting.
Continue ReadingIf my kid is screaming in …
If my kid is screaming in the bedroom, but I’m in the pub does it make a noise? Gerry McCann? It’s good to see you’ve not let things affect your day to day activities!
Continue ReadingSon: “Dad, why do people …
Son: “Dad, why do people keep asking me for directions?” Dad: “I haven’t the slightest idea Tom Tom.
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