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I took a month off work t …

July 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I took a month off work t …

I took a month off work to go travelling across America. Before I left my boss said “Now I don’t want you to worry about your job whilst you’re away…” I said, “Thanks Boss.” “Which is why I’m firing you now.” he added.

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After seeing the Rossetta …

July 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment on After seeing the Rossetta …

After seeing the Rossetta Stone TV ad about learning a new language I thought I would give it a go, knowing I could return it in 6 months if it didn’t work. After a while I rang them and demanded a refund, explaining how it isn’t working and that I spend hours every day trying […]

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I just came back from a B …

July 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I just came back from a B …

I just came back from a Blur concert. I didn’t see much.

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American food giant buys …

July 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment on American food giant buys …

American food giant buys Cadburys. This isn’t in the financial news. Just an observation on a normal day for an American tourist.

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I cut up a BMW driver tod …

July 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I cut up a BMW driver tod …

I cut up a BMW driver today. It’s ruined my bread knife though.

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London 2012: Because terr …

July 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment on London 2012: Because terr …

London 2012: Because terrorists need provoking.

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Hosepipe ban for househol …

July 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Hosepipe ban for househol …

Hosepipe ban for households. Watercannons likely to be used by police. All welcome to join the protest on my front lawn.

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If the next Dr Who is fem …

July 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment on If the next Dr Who is fem …

If the next Dr Who is female, will she be Dr Whoover?

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I can’t understand why no …

July 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I can’t understand why no …

I can’t understand why no parents would let their kids join my string quartet Things are looking bleak for my group The Kiddy Fiddlers

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What’s the difference bet …

July 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment on What’s the difference bet …

What’s the difference between a Leeds girl and an elephant? Two stone. How do you make them the same? Give the elephant a sandbag.

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Just after I saw a magpie …

July 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Just after I saw a magpie …

Just after I saw a magpie outside, Antonio Banderas burst into my room wearing a mask and cape. Well, you know what they say: One for Zorro.

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Have you ever searched fo …

July 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Have you ever searched fo …

Have you ever searched for ONE FACT on Wikipedia and then two hours later you realise that you know everything about the Soviet Union?

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I believe in life after d …

July 26qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I believe in life after d …

I believe in life after death. My wife’s just died and my life’s just beginning.

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My wife said I’m, “awfull …

July 25qjoq.comLeave a Comment on My wife said I’m, “awfull …

My wife said I’m, “awfully pedantic” the other day. “The ‘awfully’ part isn’t really necessary”, I said.

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I bought a book of baby n …

July 25qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I bought a book of baby n …

I bought a book of baby names today. Only read a few pages, but so far my favorites are ISBN 938-0325-57613 for a girl, and Copyright 2009 for a boy.

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