I met this bird from New York in the pub this week and I took her out for dinner last night. I told her I knew this fantastic place that does really authentic native American food. She wasn’t too impressed though. Apparently they have MacDonalds in the US as well.
Continue ReadingHe who laughs last… just got the joke on T-mobile.
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the middle-eastern sprinter? Iran
Continue ReadingI’m out of work at the moment so on Monday I sat around and watched neighbors. On tuesday I sat and watched neighbors again. On Wednesday the Police came and took away my binoculars and night vision goggles.
Continue ReadingIf vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?
Continue ReadingGot fired from my job today for being on the phone too much. Ironic, considering i’m a receptionist.
Continue ReadingI got stopped by a woman in the street today who tried to tell me a joke – it started off really well. Pain, suffering, abuse, maybe a bit of incest. I didn’t get the punchline though. Something about 2 a month?
Continue ReadingMy son was run over by a steamroller, and has been a poster child for the importance of road safety ever since.
Continue ReadingIt was a busy night at the Bulimic support clinic. The place was heaving.
Continue ReadingI threatened to beat my son if he didnt change his Facebook pic in support of the NSPCC. Child abuse makes me sick
Continue ReadingI honestly don’t know why everyone is making such a fuss about their relationship. Mine is a walk in the park. Admittedly with a dog, but a walk in the park nonetheless.
Continue ReadingAt the end of my first week in the Navy, I got my first taste of the Officers’ Mess. I’ll have to try harder next time we play Soggy Biscuit.
Continue ReadingA man walks into a bar wearing a tie fastener. The barman says, “Sorry, we don’t like your tie-pin here.”
Continue ReadingI added my daughter on facebook yesterday, now people will just laugh when she says “my daddy is poking me”
Continue ReadingI’m trying to prove to my family I don’t need a sat nav. I’ve got a plan.
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