Today, I thought of a dif …
Today, I thought of a different word for ‘every’. That is all.
Continue ReadingThe other day my friend a …
The other day my friend asked me if he should be a Stand-Up Comedian. I said: “No, you should be a Black Man instead.” “Why?” he replied. “Because you steal all your jokes.”
Continue ReadingI’ve recently got a job c …
I’ve recently got a job collecting aluminium cans. It’s not as bad as people make out. It’s picking up.
Continue ReadingMy wife wanted me to do a …
My wife wanted me to do all the washing, but I couldn’t understand the instructions on the machine. In the end I just threw the towel in.
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the de …
Did you hear about the detective who lost his luggage? It was a brief case.
Continue Reading“Seasonings greetings fro …
“Seasonings greetings from the India Salt & Pepper society.”
Continue ReadingI just had a pop-up ad th …
I just had a pop-up ad that read “Sorry, this campaign is now over”. So lets get this right. You thought nothing of creating a piece of malignant adware to breach my firewall, exploit my computer’s vulnerabilities and imbed itself in my hard drive, yet you feel the need to apologise because your campaign is […]
Continue ReadingMy mate told me that he r …
My mate told me that he reckoned he played over 150 hours of online games a week, “Wow!” I replied He then said: “No, runescape.”
Continue ReadingI will never forget my ch …
I will never forget my childhood summers, when we would climb into old tires and roll down the hills. They were goodyears.
Continue ReadingWhen I told my family I w …
When I told my family I wanted to be a stand up comedian they all burst out laughing. I thought well at least its a step in the right direction
Continue ReadingArgos are having their bi …
Argos are having their biggest ever furniture sale. I just bought a 20 foot long sofa.
Continue ReadingI used to be a heroin add …
I used to be a heroin addict until I started cutting my gear with washing powder. Ive been clean ever since.
Continue ReadingMy boss told me to make a …
My boss told me to make a film about something which holds paper together. Unfortunately, I only showed him a few clips.
Continue Readinglittle johnny returns hom …
little johnny returns home from school and says “mum, i got a question right today” the mum says “wonderful, what was the question?” little johnny replies “who’s farted”
Continue ReadingI damaged my car by going …
I damaged my car by going too fast over one of those sleeping policeman. But it was nothing compared to the state of him.
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