One day my Gramma was out, and my Grampa was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. Grampa was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him […]
Continue ReadingI wonder if camels ever look down at their toes and think “oh my god that looks like a……??”
Continue ReadingMy french neighbour and I got talking, she said “I grab ‘appiness whenever possible.” Sounds like my kind of slag.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Man held after fatal dog attack. “Well, I suspect he was in pieces?”
Continue ReadingThey got the weather forecast right yesterday. They said there was a patchy rain band coming. I looked out of the window and there were 4 red indians singing in my garden.
Continue ReadingI recieved a letter from someone accusing me of racial prejudice and asking for hush money. That’ll be a black male attempt.
Continue ReadingTwo streaks of diarrhoea walk into a bar. The barman looks up and asks “Why the long faeces?”
Continue ReadingI’m updating my Facebook status, whether you like it or not.
Continue ReadingCondoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Continue ReadingSky News- “Crocodile Dundee Star Banned From Leaving Oz” Doesn’t he realise he just has to click his heels together and say ‘There’s no place like home’?
Continue ReadingIt was so cold today I couldn’t feel my hands. The last time I remember it being this cold I got frostbite and lost both my hands.
Continue ReadingThe top two stories on Yahoo news today 1. Showers are bad for you. 2. 107 year old Asian woman wants to marry Spot the link
Continue ReadingDomino’s have built more than 600 shops in the UK since 1985. I don’t know about you, but I’m really tempted to knock them all down.
Continue Readingjust got back from the hospital after having identicle twins. how am i supposed to pick a favourate now?
Continue ReadingMy plan for the snow: 1. Wait for my 8 year old neighbour to build a snowman 2. Wait for that to melt 3. Put a suicide note where it melted
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