I love a bit of comic rel …
I love a bit of comic relief, me. But then, i have got a clown fetish.
Continue ReadingI’m always dead awkward a …
I’m always dead awkward around relatives, I can never say the right thing. Just the other day my gran said ‘Look! You’re growing a beard!’ Apparently , ‘So are you’ is not an appropriate response.
Continue ReadingShow me on this paradigm …
Show me on this paradigm where the meaning escaped you.
Continue ReadingPaddy’s comparisons of wo …
Paddy’s comparisons of women to men on Take me Out: ‘let the banana see the split’ ‘let the doctor see the patient’ More like let the jam see the tarts.
Continue ReadingMy wife said she’s leavin …
My wife said she’s leaving me because of my unhealthy obsession with plants. I said where’s this stemming from petal?
Continue Reading“Air India welcomes back …
“Air India welcomes back ‘chubby’ air hostesses” The flying helmet works, I don’t think they’ll appreciate all the racist jokes, though.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call seafood …
What do you call seafood in a cement mixer? Hardcore Prawn
Continue ReadingMy wife said, “You’ve bee …
My wife said, “You’ve been nothing but stupid for the past fortnight”. I said, “I think you’ll find it’s only been for the last two weeks, actually”.
Continue Reading‘Are you aware of the phr …
‘Are you aware of the phrase delusions of grandeur?’ ‘Yes, since I made it up.’
Continue ReadingThe wife asked me to take …
The wife asked me to take the Mother in Law out last night……. a good right hook did the trick !
Continue ReadingHair found at crime scene …
Hair found at crime scenes often lead to dead ends.
Continue ReadingPolice were called to Car …
Police were called to Carrow Road late on Friday night. They have arrested Delia Smith for firing a Gunn Randomly
Continue ReadingKnowledge is power, and p …
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Continue ReadingMy mate died a while ago, …
My mate died a while ago, and I was told to wear something dark to the funeral. You should have seen their surprise when I turned up in a Batman costume.
Continue ReadingI was at the herb shop lo …
I was at the herb shop looking for some weed. Wrong place, wrong thyme.
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