QJOQ

I said to my son, “What did you do at school today?” He said, “We learnt about all the capitals.” “How many do you know?” I asked. He said, “All of them.” I said, “All of them, are you sure?” He said, “Yes, they’re just like the small letters, but you write them a bit […]

I found out earlier that …

August 16qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I found out earlier that dead babies are being grounded up into a powdered tablet in China and being sold abroad as ‘stamina tablets’, each one containing about 99.7% human. I had never been so disgusted and outraged in all of my life, i’ve already taken 5 and I feel no different.

My wife complained that I …

August 16qjoq.comLeave a Comment

My wife complained that I’m too old fashioned. “Nonsense”, I said, “Now get thee gone, wench, back to the skullery from wherest thou came and cease thoust chatter o’er much ado about nothing”. Brazen harlet.

I was walking past the Ol …

August 16qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I was walking past the Olympic Park today at Stratford and a bloke came up to me and said “Where are the Para’s mate?”. “I think you will find they wont be starting untill the 29th August” I replied. “Really, I thought they were doing the security now” He smirked.

Just looked at the label …

August 16qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Just looked at the label on a packet of ham i bought, it read ‘70% water’. Surely then it’s ham flavoured water.

I was once abducted by al …

August 16qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I was once abducted by aliens. They made me wipe my face, blow my nose and eat my greens. I think I was on board the mothership.

My Dad’s dying wish was t …

August 16qjoq.comLeave a Comment

My Dad’s dying wish was that we have a race named after him. So just to let you all know, from now on the Chinese will be called the “Bill Coopers’ “.