I read a twelve page book …
I read a twelve page book about the war the other day. I think it was Abridged Too Far.
Continue ReadingJust had a bloke ask if h …
Just had a bloke ask if he could rent my house. I said, “Sorry mate, I just can’t let you.”
Continue Reading‘Active children get best …
‘Active children get best grades’, claim education experts. What about Stephen Hawking?
Continue ReadingI work as a dyslexic ship …
I work as a dyslexic shipman. I don’t like to boast though.
Continue ReadingI always carry a larger d …
I always carry a larger dictionary – for better muscle definition.
Continue ReadingAfter 25 years of shrill, …
After 25 years of shrill, shrieking marriage, I finally found the courage to ditch my wife ….fingers crossed the police won’t find it
Continue ReadingI’m a terrible psychic – …
I’m a terrible psychic – I don’t know about you.
Continue ReadingGirl- How much do you lov …
Girl- How much do you love me? Guy- Well, look at the stars and count them. That’s how much I love you. Girl- but, its morning. Guy- Exactly.
Continue ReadingWhy doesn’t my dog use an …
Why doesn’t my dog use antiperspirant? It blocks his paws…..
Continue ReadingBBC news: siamese twins k …
BBC news: siamese twins killed by hit and run. You’d think they’d have looked both ways before crossing?
Continue ReadingWhat do Sikh people say w …
What do Sikh people say when they finish getting dressed? Thats a wrap
Continue ReadingI said to my mate “Next y …
I said to my mate “Next year I’m taking up something new. I’ll give you a clue, it involves blood, sweat and tears with a little bit of Eye of the Tiger thrown in”. He replied, “So you’re taking up boxing?”. “No”, I said “Chinese medicine”.
Continue ReadingMy mate asked me what I g …
My mate asked me what I got for Father’s Day. “I got a golf ball,” I replied. “A golf ball. That doesn’t sound much of a present!” “Well that’s where you’re wrong,” I said, “This golf ball is impossible to lose and even floats if you hit into water.” “OK, I take it back. It […]
Continue ReadingTo me, A Sickipedia joke …
To me, A Sickipedia joke is like a woman. You spend ages trying to get a good one, and when you do, you sit and think about how you can beat it.
Continue Reading“Dr Pepper, what’s the wo …
“Dr Pepper, what’s the worse that can happen?” ‘Well you might not be able to have any kids.’
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