The least funniest person …
The least funniest person on Sickipedia is that guy who’s always on the forums, Mark Unread – he hasn’t posted anything at all yet but he’s on there all day long..
Continue ReadingStatistically 99% of peop …
Statistically 99% of people believe knighthood is totally justified. -Sir Vey.
Continue ReadingI love apple juice. If on …
I love apple juice. If only they made it in some sort of solid, portable form…..
Continue ReadingHindsight is a wonderful …
Hindsight is a wonderful thing… …especially when you’re standing behind Pippa Middleton.
Continue ReadingOne of my previous Bosses …
One of my previous Bosses used to look at a pile of CVs , pick half of it up at random and throw it straight in the bin, saying “I don’t want to work with unlucky people.”
Continue ReadingWas watching Take Me Out …
Was watching Take Me Out earlier when a young black man who went by the name of ‘Silky’ stole the hearts of all the women. And their purses.
Continue ReadingI was walking through the …
I was walking through the park today when I seen a man going absolutely mental at his wife. He was jumping up and down, shaking his fists furiously and shouting “I gave you one job to do and you couldn’t even do that!! Now there’s not enough food for the both of us!!!” I thought […]
Continue ReadingI don’t know what the fas …
I don’t know what the fascination is with strip clubs. It’s just the same old thong and dance.
Continue ReadingMy ex-girlfriend told me …
My ex-girlfriend told me that I had to go one week without using any sporting idioms or she would break up with me. I fell at the first hurdle.
Continue ReadingThe wife suggested we go …
The wife suggested we go for a night out somewhere because we haven’t been out for ages. She said “How about going to the dogs one night?”. I said “Good idea, but I don’t really want to spend an evening round your mothers.”
Continue ReadingI was at the pub with my …
I was at the pub with my mate and I asked him what’s his favorite drink. “Shloer” He replied So I repeated it in a drunken voice.
Continue ReadingMy wife told me our child …
My wife told me our child needs constant supervision. So I’ve gone and strapped a pair of night-vision binoculars to his face.
Continue Reading“D’you think Mos Def is s …
“D’you think Mos Def is short for something?” “Most definitely.”
Continue Reading“WE CHARGE AT DAWN!” “Wh …
“WE CHARGE AT DAWN!” “Why not now?” “Solar-powered charger.”
Continue ReadingI love giving directions. …
I love giving directions. It’s right up my street
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