I woke up as a clown this …
I woke up as a clown this morning. I must have slept funny
Continue ReadingMy doctor said, “How badl …
My doctor said, “How badly has the amnesia affected you?” I said, “Amnesia?”
Continue ReadingAny hole is a goal…exce …
Any hole is a goal…except a manhole.
Continue ReadingI got booed off stage the …
I got booed off stage the other day when I told a joke about blacks being thieves… …People just don’t like observational comedy anymore.
Continue ReadingA barman is just a pharma …
A barman is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Continue ReadingMy wife suggested today t …
My wife suggested today that we get our daughter Christened and I couldn’t be more pleased. I’m not religious at all, I just remember what happened when she suggested we Christen the new settee.
Continue ReadingDear Captain Birdseye, Yo …
Dear Captain Birdseye, Your Chicken Curry is really nice; when will you be putting Chicken in it? Regards.
Continue ReadingI excel at saying 39 in R …
I excel at saying 39 in Roman numerals.
Continue ReadingA tachyon walks in to a b …
A tachyon walks in to a bar. The barman says “We don’t serve tachyons in here.” The tachyon replies “You will tomorrow.”
Continue ReadingI don’t believe it! They’ …
I don’t believe it! They’ve started a skeptics club in my local area.
Continue ReadingWas in a maths exam yeste …
Was in a maths exam yesterday and this nerd next to me got an erection. He saw an acute angle
Continue ReadingMy wife said she wants a …
My wife said she wants a rubber plant to freshen up the living room a bit. I think it’s a stupid idea. If anything it’ll have opposite effect. The noise would be deafening, and just imagine the CO2 emissions.
Continue ReadingWhat did the frog do when …
What did the frog do when he broke down on the motorway? He got toad away.
Continue ReadingI don’t usually spend a l …
I don’t usually spend a lot of money on toilet related items but a urinal on the other hand! Well that is something i’m willing to splash out on.
Continue ReadingI put the “me” in Down Sy …
I put the “me” in Down Syndrome. By using force.
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