I couldn’t believe My Luc …
I couldn’t believe My Luck… I’ve never known a Chinese woman to lie so much.
Continue ReadingI was checking my junk em …
I was checking my junk emails earlier when I came across one offering me free angling equipment. All they wanted was a few personal details. I hate fishing scams.
Continue ReadingA young lady went to a lo …
A young lady went to a local psychic. “Who would you like to contact, my dear?” The psychic asked. “My mother,” she replied. “Wait there, I think I’m getting something. Yes, yes, she’s here – your mother’s spirit is here.” “Really?” “Yes, it’s your mother, she’s here.” “Mother, is it really you?” “Your mother says, […]
Continue ReadingAnti psychotic drugs acci …
Anti psychotic drugs accidentally put into packets of Nurofen Plus! Explains why I still have a headache, but haven’t killed anyone today!
Continue ReadingI’ve heard Matt Damon is …
I’ve heard Matt Damon is going to play Oscar Wilde in his next movie, Bourne to be Wilde
Continue ReadingWhat did the Scottish can …
What did the Scottish cannibal have for breakfast? Weetoes.
Continue ReadingA good rule of thumb is i …
A good rule of thumb is if you’ve made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you’ve made a serious vocational error.
Continue ReadingI always wanted to be a t …
I always wanted to be a traffic cop, but I didn’t have the fine motor skills.
Continue ReadingTired of busy city street …
Tired of busy city streets? Simply wear a bright jacket with a charity name on the back and watch people swerve you.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Three killed wh …
BBC News: Three killed when car overturns. I bet the driver flipped.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s just told me sh …
My wife’s just told me she expecting her mum to come round for dinner on Christmas Day. I’m disappointed. I thought I’d hit her so hard she’s be unconscious till February at least…..
Continue ReadingSocialInterview.com asked …
SocialInterview.com asked me “What would say to an alien that spoke English?” I answered ”You’ll be a little out of place here in England.”
Continue Readingso yeah, i was ironing wh …
so yeah, i was ironing while listening to ‘do it like a dude’ and thought well this is ironic.
Continue ReadingOur police station is hol …
Our police station is holding a knife amnesty this week and I just dropped all of mine in to them. My wife’s gone mental as she only has a fork now to eat her lunch with.
Continue ReadingJust bought my new Gibson …
Just bought my new Gibson guitar. Strings attached.
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