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They’ve recently opened a ladies only nightclub in my town. Well I say nightclub, it’s actually more of a whine bar.

I got held up on the motor way today because of a syrup spillage. The only good thing was that it makes a change from the usual jams!

I’m an untidy person and I just walked in to find my wife ironing my Y-fronts, Oh the irony

My wife said she’s leaving me because I am forever doubting her ability to make decisions. Ha, she doesn’t have the bottle.

It was mildly amusing at the special Olympics when the blind cheerleaders chanted … Give me an – I –

Every year Oxford and Cambridge get into a race row.

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned. …