Category: wordplay

Now that Norwich City have been promoted, all the other premier league teams will need to modify their stadium seating areas – to provide ‘extra leg’ room.

I was climbing Big Ben for charity, when all of a sudden my rope broke and I fell! But luckily I got snagged on the big hand of the clock, and then I thought… Hang on a minute….

My nose is the scenter of my face.

I feel sorry for auctioneers, they always have a lot to deal with.

I bought some baby potatoes earlier. He just looked at them and dribbled.

I got jumped by a man armed with a cricket bat. It knocked me for six.

I tried to e-mail my commiserations to Andy Murray after he lost to Nadal yesterday but unfortunately I couldn’t connect to the server.

I had a roll lunchtime. Would have made it to the bottom of the high st. if people had moved quicker.

A woman came in to my clinic with a nasty gash today. I expected that, being a gynocologist.

I came quite close to a serious car accident the other day… The paramedics looked at me with disgust but I just powered through

Sun News: Hunt for street’s cat killer. Now who trained it to do that? I’m looking at you, Susan Boyle.

I recently quit my job as a butler at a stately home. I refuse to be ordered around in that manor.

I read this morning about how police were insulted in ‘a four letter rant’. Must have cost them a fortune in stamps.

I was reading ‘War and Peace’ in bed last night, when my wife said, “What made you want to read that?” I said, “It’s a long story.”

BBC News- “Rail feret ‘took London train.” Must have been pretty strong don’t you think?