Category: wordplay

I got my child to sleep last night by just repeatedly saying ‘bursary’. It was the only nursery rhyme I could think of.

I’m tired of not sleeping.

My phone is shaped like an Italian dumpling. It’s a Gnocchia.

Legitimate CD sales are killing piracy.

Everything is easier said than done. Except procrastination.

I was backing up the car this morning. Should be easier to get back if I lose it now.

My dad’s shop which sold trousers for the larger men across the country burnt down this morning. Shame because they’d been making huge strides.

It took me a week to tell my girlfriend that I tested positive for HIV. My stutter must be getting worse.

I’m going to the opening of the new local hive today. They’re giving away free bees.

“I’ve told you before Jordan,i don’t want to buy any of your kids,even if one is Harve Price”

I was pulled over by the police this morning and the officer said, “I’ve pulled you over for weaving in the car.” I replied, “Yes I know, I’ve almost finished my first rug.”

I heard vandals have broken into an origami exhibition and ruined all the exhibits. Police are trying to work out how events unfolded.

Why didn’t the religious triangle go on holiday? cos It’s A sin To Get A tan

As a marine engineer, I am frequently called in to repair the engine lubrication systems on small harbour boats. I love my oily tug jobs.

I’m trying to write a book. I’ve already done a, b and o. I reckon the last bit should be ok.