Category: wordplay

I won $2 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $ 1,999,999.75.

My wife recently decided to donate her body to science. She left me for a doctor.

An Internet cafe owner just threw me out and called me a thief. Honestly. I was just browsing.

What animal can go through it’s whole life without sleeping? Audley Harrison because he never hits the Haye.

My daughter is so much like my late wife. Never on time

My mate challenged me to get him something affordable for his rabbit to play in, I gave him a right good run for his money.

What’s the difference between exaggeration and contradiction? Tons of stuff, but not a great deal.

I went to visit my grandad earlier but when I arrived he was asleep on his chair. I turned off the light and drew his curtains. Hopefully the portrait will enlighten him to the ridiculousness of his out of date hair style.

Formica is much too good for Blackburn. He has that top of the table quality…

I love my Pulmonary Artery, from the bottom of my heart.

I had a panic in the kitchen the other day: “We’re getting very low on herbs and thyme is running out”.

The new Nintendo 3Ds doesn’t work with only one eye open. Looks like they’re really cracking down on pirates now.

My girlfriend seems to disapprove of the excessive fondling in our relationship. I know exactly how she feels.

CNN News “Tree Falls On Bank” Does anyone know what branch?

“I’m wearing black and carrying a scythe.” – a Death sentence