Category: wordplay

All the small local Pizza companies have been forced to shut down. It’s the Domino’s Effect.

I come from a long line of proud and accomplished sewer workers, we’re not afraid of handling the big jobs!

An i-pod and a CD player both walk into a pub. The barman takes one look at them and says, “Oi! We’ll have no stereotype jokes in here.”

The interview was going well till she asked me to show her my Testimonials. I misunderstood

I never let my children watch big band performances on TV. Too much sax and violins.

I was just chopping a tree up and thought to myself: “Why is there no gravity in this forest?”

“Movember” has been great fun, I’m not that ecstatic about “Fanuary” though.

A bloke came up to me in the street today and threw a jigsaw at me for no reason whatsoever. I was puzzled.

I wasn’t sure how my wife would react when she realised that i’d brought her to a Bukkake party. To my surprise she took it on the chin.

In the two months since she moved in with me, the girlfriend’s managed to put a stone on. The garden wall’s never getting finished at this rate.

How ironic that the starving little African kid on Soccer Aid is called Marvin

The other day I had my photo taken with AC/DC. I’m at the back in black.

I pulled 10 women last night. Tug of war champion.

What is the difference between Sunderland goalkeeper and a minicab driver? The Sunderland keeper has let more than four in.

I’m about to give my son a bath. Admittedly, a strange choice of gift for a 3 month old.