Category: wordplay

My bbq is all planned but my budget has gone on food and no entertainment…… So I have put some bird food out see if I can get some cheap music….

One swallow does not make a summer, but one spit can sure make a fall. Down the stairs.

All this talk of the iPhone autocorrect “is rubbish” nonsense is making me feel I’ll.

One of my chairs is missing a leg, and it’s not sitting very well with me.

I’ve got this mate who’s always trying to prove he’s smarter than me and now he’s saying he’s going to take up chess. Well, two can play at that game…

I was coming home from work today and I saw a Nun riding on a Clowns back. Now that’s just virgin’ on the ridiculous.

My wife always tries to lose weight….. But it always finds her.

The discovery of how to make steel was ironic.

My 4 year old daughter drew me a picture today – needless to say it looked like the paper had been sick on itself, but of course I said to her ‘Oh thank you darling, on the fridge it goes!’ She was so pleased. But luckily, I didn’t specify who’s fridge it would be and […]

‘All’s well that ends well’ Maybe except for, ‘I’m trapped down a…’

I’ve just bought a carpet. Think I’ll call him Rover.

SKY NEWS: Riot in Belgium: Kurds Clash With Police I always said yellow wasn’t their colour.

h The middle of nowhere

I had this really weird dream last night, I saw the words “Arbeit Macht Frei”. I think it could be a sign.

There is a conspiracy between Kate McCann and the Sun newspaper.. For the real truth I think she should take a look in the Mirror..