Category: wordplay

A human foot washed up on the banks of the river Mersey today as did one in the river Thames and the Humber! Three feet in one day! I’ve called the yard.

A mathematics teacher was stopped trying to board a plane at Heathrow today carrying a slide rule, a protractor and a calculator. He was charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

I’ve got a black lab, Where I conduct experiments on African’s .

I’ve named my daughter Semitism so that when my son has a kid, she’ll be known as Auntie-Semitism.

I took my son flying at the weekend. It’s for those that can’t afford fishing.

After one night stands women always ask me why I call my condoms religious. They don’t like it when I say sewing needles make them holy.

The easiest way to get ahead is by decapitation.

I saw a sign in the old peoples home today, it read. “These pensioners make great rugs.” Shame on you care workers?

I’ve just seen a article on how to help your dog after it has had a stroke …I didnt bother reading it, I stroke my dog all the time and it doesn’t need any help.

What a beautiful morning… The sun is shining, birds are twittering… How they got computers into their nests I’ll never know…

Iron man. What a Fe male.

My dad choked to death on a curry tonight after mocking the animals killed to make it. Chicken Karma.

Ive changed my Mobile provider from O2 to a new service called Gypsy It has Free Roaming

I asked a blonde girl how many blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb. “It should only take one if the bulb is light.” she replied.

BigPond news: ‘A man dressed in a Darth Vader costume has robbed a bank in New York at gunpoint.’ Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Bank.