Category: wordplay

My mate says he hates dodgem cars and coconut shies. Which is a fair comment.

My mates just got back from his mission to construct the worlds largest paper airplane. He didnt make it.

I had a house party last night. My house was the only one that turned up.

With the best will in the world , I will inherit 300 Billion

My mum and dad left me in the car earlier today while they went and done the shopping. Sat there for hours bored out of my mind. They did leave my Gameboy with me but the sign outside said, “No loading at any times,” and I really couldn’t be bothered starting a new game.

My inflatable friends don’t trust me any more. I keep letting them down.

The boss of the shop where I work criticised me for failing to clean the floor today. I swept it under the carpet.

I’m so excited, and i just can’t hide it. And the reason why i was sacked as a Gynecologist.

Check this one out: 1.

I always tell people I have a child-like disposition. It sounds better than saying I’m a paedophile.

I went to my local bakers the other day and the guy behind the counter was balancing on some bread. I thought to myself ‘He’s on a roll!’.

My 5 year old daughter said all she wants for Christmas is a pony. I can’t believe she is only going to cost me 25 quid this year.

There is no “I” in TEAM, but there is an “M” and an “E”

My three unwritten rules : 1. 2. 3.

Why can’t chavs think out of the box? They get stuck, innit.