Category: wordplay

“I cant believe Westlife have split up, if I hear anything to do with them from now on Im just gonna get upset” sobbed the wife. “Oh Mandy” I said.

My one year old lamb is starting to look rather sheepish.

My mate just said “I’m starving I feel like an Ethiopian.” Some people will eat anything.

I just ordered an Indian. He starts on Monday.

Who said Shakespeare was irrelevant? As he handed over the computer files of the News of the World to the police today, James Murdoch uttered the words, “This is the WinZip of our disc contents.”

My wife didn’t enjoy my Yule Log…apparently the bit of bog roll stuck to it put her off.

I shouldn’t of started that food fight. Now i’ve got a bit of a pickle on my hands.

Even if I lose to a girl, I still beat them.

I recently taught a sheep how to drive. She wasn’t very good driving straight, but she was good at ewe-turns.

I tried some mini golf today. The salesmen at BMW were furious.

My friend Megan really doesn’t like her name and recently decided to change the name she wants to go by, not even bothering to change it by deedpoll. She’s a Lauren to herself.

I’ve always wanted to be a bank robber, so I thought it was fantastic opportunity to learn a few tricks of the trade when one came into my local Barclays, and I was eager to learn. So I took some notes.

This homeless guy came up to me on the street and said “Big Issue”. I said “University Fees”.

ITV News: “Boy has right half of brain Removed, still walks” I suppose it’s all he’s got left now

My mate asked me to join a new dating agency he was in called “coconut” I wanted to join but i was shy.