Category: wordplay

I haven’t yet established myself in Snooker. I’m just waiting for my big break.

I just dropped my calculator into my dinner. Looks like I’m having pi then.

As I sat and watched “I’m a celebrity get me out of here” I wondered what a Bushtucker trial was. Then Fatima lifted up her arms.

BBC News: Should we stop Eastern immigration? Lets see what the polls have to say.

My neighbour won’t stop singing in the flat below me. Makes it very difficult to harmonise.

I’ve just joined a club for people who get partially aroused while thinking about their houses. I’ve got a semi.

Life as a mischief maker is easy! After all, it’s not difficult to turn women into bossy leaders.

“It’s taken me 60 years but I have finally read this book about my family dying in the Holocaust.” Librarian: “It’s over Jew.”

If I was reincarnated as a fish, I’d be gutted.

I’ve just seen a soul singer carrying a box of 80’s computers… I think it was Lionel Richie and the commodores.

Roads were congested around major cities as millions of office workers mistakenly travelled in on Bank Holiday Monday. Experts blame a commuter error.

I needed a break from my hectic life, so went to the theatre but I got the dates mixed up & a Chinese cookery exhibition was on instead. All wok & no play.

I’ve alway thought that M&S would be a different store if Mr. Spencer had his initial first.

Alcohol kills brian cells.

My new girlfriend found the small forest I’d made to create a battle scene for my Warhammer figures. I said, “Well this is Ork Wood”.