Category: wordplay

Did pretty well on the scavenger hunt. Shot three scavengers.

I know when I’m not wanted. I seem to spend all my time there.

Disposable beds are unreliable.

My wife is leaving me because I jump to conclusions. At least I think she is.

My dictionary angered me last night. So today we’re going to have words.

My wife has just text me to say that she’s bought a Siamese Cat. I can’t wait to get home and see it. I’ve never seen a cat with 2 heads before.

My wife said that she hates it when I have really balanced opinions. She asked me what I thought. I said I was still in two minds over it.

I paid a building firm to renovate my property. Imagine my surprise when I turned up to find Mr T had dug a 20ft by 8ft hole in the garden, filled it with concrete, tiled it in blue mosaic and filled it with chlorinated water. I asked him what he was doing and he replied […]

File. Proof that life is what you make of it.

Around the festive time of year, I get itchy skin inflammation all over my body that makes the shape of smiley faces. Happy Eczemas.

Me and the wife spent hours trying to come up with an anagram of ‘vole’. Then we made love.

My wife said she was going to leave me because of my obsession with trees. I said, ‘I just can’t live without yew!’

My girlfriend asked me the other day, “Dave, why do you always walk in front of me?” I said, “I’m sorry, I don’t follow you.”

Stuart Donnelly, Britain’s youngest lottery winner has died. His number was up.

Kirstie Allsop was left with a damaged shoulder, wrist and finger after a nasty fall down the stairs. Dislocation, dislocation, dislocation.