Category: wordplay

A thanks to the inventors of the Stationery Cupboard, Well you wouldn’t like it if it moved.

I’ve got the wife’s Christmas present from that Amazon place Its a crocodile

I hate listenning to smackheads tell a story They methadrone on and on

My new peregrine falcon caught worms, so I swapped it for a properly trained one.

I resent people who insist I should respect the national anthem. I won’t stand for it.

I bought three pink tents. Some may see that as a little camp.

One person who hasn’t been affected by the London congestion charge is Prince Harry. He still manages to come into Chelsea at least twice a day.

Me and the lads have a brilliant weekend ahead. Our Chinese mate has invited us to go to Reading for the weekend. Although I’m not exactly sure what he meant by me being the ‘best man’, and having to prepare a speech. It was completely beyond me.

BBC news: Baby twin girls attacked by fox in sleep. At least now you can tell them apart…

I saw seven train spotters on the platform this morning. It’s got to be the worst pastime ever. Still, spotting train spotters gets me away from the wife for a few hours.

I gave my girlfriend a real spanking last night Beat her 7-0 on fifa

My wife always has to have the last word, she’s brilliant at scrabble.

I hate that vain person staring at me in the mirror.

About to microwave some fruit. Getting ready for a hot date.

People that use words out of context should just dye.