Category: wordplay

I’m involved in the illegal trading of large male deer. It’s big bucks.

I hate it when my girlfriend is on her period. But the school is only across the road so I can still see her.

Did you hear about the Dutch tap dancer? He fell off and clogged the drain.

I bought a farewell card yesterday for 15p! It was a good buy.

A friend of mine bet me 50 that I would not go into our local bank dressed as Father Christmas. It was a Santadare.

After having a meal with my girlfriend, I offered to run her home. It’s the last time I do that, I was almost at a walk when I got there.

I went to the Little Chef for my breakfast. But he’s not selling knock offs since he got the caution.

I asked my grandmother for “something Cuban” for my birthday, and she got me a Che Guevara shirt. Clothes, but no cigar.

I bought an invisible plane Now I am a master of disguise

Someone just threw a bag cocaine in my face It really cracked me up

All black people should be killed by firing squad at birth .. Sorry, I meant racists. All black people should be killed by racists at birth.

Apparently I have made 144 mistakes at work this past year and they said enough was enough, I got fired for gross negligence..

My boys were getting a caricature at the fair when they started fighting. “Can you break them apart mate?” the guy asked. “Nah,” I replied, “I don’t want to get drawn into this.”

Saw this man by the side of the road blowing a flute at a snake in a basket. Thought to myself “Well that’s just charming!”

That film ‘Contagion’ sounds good. I hope to catch it at some point this week.