Category: wordplay

Just when I thought our wedding day couldn’t get any better, the mother in law died during our reception after she choked on some food. It was the icing on the cake.

I’m delusional, or I think I am anyway.

Apparently women love a good scar on a man. However, they’re never impressed with the big red ring on my forearm after going deep into a pringle can.

I call my wife “The Bottle”. She keeps wine in.

One day I would like to visit the Artic circle. Or the wife’s side of the bed as its otherwise known.

Whenever I’m feeling blue, I start breathing again.

I was arrested for selling black market coolants. I’m currently freon bail.

I’ve just started going out with a girl who believes she was abducted by aliens. It’s amazing. It means she’s gullible and up for some probing.

I’m a designer of minimalist housing and 7 windows was my idea

Tottenham Hotspur have been beaten by the Kaizer Chiefs. I predict a riot.

I’ve just opened up a pub near a volcano. It’s gonna be the new hotspot in town.

Even though our pitch was covered in sand, we still made it through to the final of the cup. We won on aggregate.

My wife told me I don’t know how to take criticism. That was sweet of her.

I wonder what turns Stephen Hawking on..

BBC NEWS : Pub stabbing man dies in hospital This should teach him not to go around stabbing pubs.