Category: wordplay

I’ve just had 40 winks on the train… I knew I shouldn’t have worn this pink t-shirt.

I’ve just built a working catapult. It’s disguised as a chair, so it tends to throw a lot of people.

What’s with all my Facebook friends posting their status as ‘Reading’? I’ve been reading since I was five.

I’m a conductor having an affair with a player in the London Philharmonic Orchestra. In fact she’s giving me the horn right now.

In a bizarre publicity stunt, David Walliams and Matt Lucas have kidnapped the Who Wants to be a Millionaire presenter… Little Britains Got Tarrant

You’ll not catch me running in the London marathon. I’m Kenyan

I saw a shark today at the beach, Basking

I come from a musical family. I lived in A flat.

I’ve started dating a woman who shares my interest in headware… We have a love hat relationship.

My wife says I give up to easily. “Je suis d’accord.”

I’ve decided to have a party in my vegetable patch tonight. Lettuce turnip the beet.

Whats the difference between Spurs forward line & a woman urinating in public? Ones got Peter Crouch, the others gotta crouch to pee.

BBC News – “Snow closes Luton Airport runway”. A Colombian Airlines jet crash landed.

I always enjoy steaks as rare as possible…. Which is why I love hunting snow leopards every january.

When will people learn to stop having kids with people from Siam?