Category: wordplay

W——L —–E——L That’s well out of line.

When people ask what I do I tell them im a stock taker. Sounds better than saying im a thief

Saw a guy in the pub carrying 12 pints of guinness. Thought to myself, that guy can really hold his drink.

I’m on a new program to kick my addiction to glue sniffing, i’m gonna stick with it.

My wife always said I was a turn-off. Which made it an easy decision to turn off her life support machine.

I had a house destroyed by a tree yesterday……. Now its a flat

Whats the difference between a Chinese takeaway and my 6yr old daughter? I ate my Chinese in last night

I was walking down the road last night when a strange car started following me. It was a Peel P50.

I travel around circuses and tell the owners when their coconut stalls are getting too old. I’m the shy retiring type.

A Muslim woman had her scarf blown off. All will be re-veiled.

I was in goal last night at a fancy dress football match and I decided to go as a Ku Klux Klan member. Managed to keep a clean sheet.

Just bought a child’s workbench… It’s a Kony Playstation.

Tha. It’s not all that.

Now I know why all the Paki’s are moving here. Drains.

They’ve just opened a Disneyland in Glasgow so I took the kids there today to check it out. There was a sign on the gate saying “Sorry, it disney open on Sundays.”