Category: wordplay

I’d love to be a coin, you’re either getting head or chasing tail.

Last night my wife accused me of not communicating. She’s the one to talk.

I bought a knock-off DVD on skydiving. It won’t stop jumping.

A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got myshelf to blame.

Earl Grey goes down very nicely in the afternoon. According to Lady Grey.

I was going to go as a coconut to my girlfriends fancy dress party but i was a bit shy.

My black mate Winston refuses to listen to music if it’s recorded in mono. He’s your typical stereo type.

I hate learning languages with a cold. Though it does make me fluent.

things are tense with my wife. past tense.

My mates been trying to convince me to publicise my jokes for some time now. Finally, I submitted.

My mate’s just started texting flirty messages to a female landscape gardener. “Are you going to sleep with her soon?”, I asked eagerly. “No”, he replied, “I’m just putting the groundwork down.”

If my dead chronic masturbating grandfather could see what the world has come to now, he’d be tossing in his grave.

My mate is the king of put-downs. He’s a vet.

Filling your car with Diesel is much cheaper than petrol. Its only 40 quid a bottle in Superdrug.

Chewbacca forgets to delete his history before letting his girlfriend use his computer….wookie error