Category: wordplay

What do you call a paedophile who thinks secondary school kids are too old? A primary suspect.

If you want to be able to identify tartans, it’s easy. You look under the kilt, and if it’s a quarter-pounder, you know it’s a McDonald’s.

BBC News “Giggs Misses training for Man Utd” She probably just wants to keep an eye on him.

I just painted my girlfriends nails. It took ages, there are loads in her flat.

I just read a letter from my girlfriend saying that she is breaking up with me because I cant throw anything away. It was dated 12th March 1967.

BBC News: Police urgently seek missing pair? Why don’t they just grow some like the rest of us?

After researching this site I have found that Racism and Wordplay are the top two rated categories. Obama’s a Sambo.

‘Cipriani signs for Sale’ Who is going to want to buy a sign with him on??

My mate asked me, “Are you free next week to look after my company if I go on holiday?” I said, “Mind your own business”.

My girlfriend came home from work laughing. She said “I’ve just heard the funniest thing about that hedge in the front garden!” I told her to shut up. I hate privet jokes.

My wife always takes it out on the house whenever I make her angry. Today, I told her that I’d slept with her sister. She hit the roof.

I hate arrogant anorexics, they just cant swallow their pride.

I left school at 12, and loved it. All of the other schools didn’t finish until 3:30

When Carol Vorderman got married she and her husband exchanged vowels.

The name for the head of the Indian Mafia is ‘Poppa Don’