Category: wordplay

I asked my friend to describe his mate. He said “You know, white, moustache, about 6 foot 3.” Big moustache.

I went to see a very flexible group of musicians last night. It was a rubber band.

My son has been really reckless with the hot air balloon I bought for his birthday, So he’s grounded for 2 weeks.

Naomi Campbell is upset to be described as a chocolate bar *Snickers*

What’s the difference between a postman and a postwoman? A few letters.

Why is it that if I say to my wife, “Wow, you look good enough to eat!” she considers it to be a good thing, but if I see what she’s cooked for dinner and say “Well, it’s good enough to eat” I get a slap?

So it looks like Greece is going to have to exit from the Euro and go back to their old currency. Typical of the Greeks, always making a Drachma out of a crisis.

My girlfriend has an irrational fear of carnivals, so i’ve booked her in with a psychotherapist. It’s only fair.

Never leave an atom alone. You have to keep your ion it.

Ahh good old December the 1st and finally the moustache has gone. My Girlfriend was starting to look like Tom Selleck.

I’ve been reported to the police for stalking. Oh Deer.

I laid on a picnic for my girlfriend. It completely ruined the sandwiches.

My doctor had to cut my aorta valve. It broke my heart.

Last year in Africa me and my mates saw some poor black kids kicking an empty can around.We felt sorry for them and decided to join them. We had a ball.

I have discovered why British people are best at snooker. We are accustomed to queues from a young age