Category: wordplay

My Daughter suffers from Drug abuse. Don’t ask why my parents called me “Drug.”

I’ve just got a make-shift job at the computer keyboard factory.

I ordered some roast pork over a dodgy phone line. All I got was a load of crackling.

Did you hear about the woman who mistook her superglue for lube? I don’t suppose you would have – her lips are sealed.

I took a holiday to see the Brazilian rain forest before it disappears. All that’s left is a thin strip down the middle.

Lemonade: Giving help to unfortunate lemons

A distant relative of my mother’s has had more than ten abortions, so I have at least ten cousins once removed.

What is the best way to get rid of Staines? Demolish the city and extend Heathrow!

I wrote the book on procrastination. Well I’ve done two chapters.

Which famous American linguist also ate short people? Noam Chompsky.

I travel the land, Asking rides from kind strangers: I’m a hitchhaiku.

Chicks dig miners.

My mate plays the violin and he’s makes me hold up the music sheets while he plays. I’m sick of doing it, so now I’m making a stand.

What do you call a camp Jedi? Obi Have

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was way too literal for me.