Category: wordplay

My friends wanted to call me Mr Manipulative. I was able to persuade them to call me something else though.

What do I have in common with an armless man? We both struggle to pull.

There’s been some impressive rallies at Wimbledon this year. No way near as good as the Nuremburg ones though.

I’m not worried about the Third World War. That’s the Third World’s Problem.

I got fired from my job at the KitKat factory for taking too many breaks.

Lmao: What the French put on salad.

My mate got fired from his job just for playing the organ last week…. To be fair, he was performing a heart transplant at the time.

In the trenches, fighting to preserve Britain Well done Time Team.

I entered a contest to see who could draw the most slight and straight line down the near edge of an A4 sheet of paper. I won, but just by the faintest of margins.

I was playing chess against my mates daughter, when he left the room. I made the first move…

When I said I wanted to be a role model. Dressing up as a BLT, standing outside Subway and handing out leaflets isn’t what I had in mind.

I downloaded a 3D version of the alphabet. It’s got 28 letters.

I just changed my g string tonight for the first time in 8 months. I also changed my a, d, b, low e and high e strings too, guitar sounds so much better now.

The Red Arrows haven’t been the same since they banned smoking on planes.

As a paedophile and a trainspotter, imagine my disappointment last night when I finally got the chance to watch Babestation.