Category: wordplay

I beat the Queen at strip poker last night. I got a royal flash.

I’ve been feeling really tired at work lately, so I’m going to book a rest tomorrow. I love Romainia at this time of the year.

What do you call a Russian electrician? Switchitonanov

As a necrophiliac who loves swingers, I’m hoping they bring back death by hanging.

My mate drives nails in with his bare hands and uses his teeth to unscrew the toughest screws. What a tool.

Breaking News: Dangerous malfunctioning new iPod headphones explode whilst playing songs. Deaf toll rises.

I was arrested at a bike show for indecent exposure. In my defense, she did ask to see my helmet.

People from Hull speak with a distinctive accent which can make certain expressions ambiguous. For instance, ‘half hearted’ can mean ‘lacking enthusiasm’ or ‘I have just broken wind’.

I was working at a sport equipment factory the other day and I got told off by my supervisor. Apparently I was making a racket.

I think that they should remake the milky way advert. ‘the red car and the blue blue car tried to race, But all red wanted to do was stuff his face. But before he could even try Petrol prices rose to high. So the race was cancelled.’

“I’m at breaking point” my wife said. “Snap” I replied.

My wife says I have the attention span of a

Never take a crash course in aviation. Unless, of course, you’re a muslim.

I reversed a Toyota yesterday. Ended up where I started.

Some say a world without sin is ideal, but I disagree. After all, there’s only so many problems which can be answered with cos and tan.