Category: wordplay

Sure every one knows what a will is, obviously. It’s a dead give away.

I think it’s shocking how black people act these days. Especially Eddie Murphy.

A customer walks into the book store and wants to return a book on “Modern Medical Procedures.” The proprietor asks, “Is there something wrong? Customer replies, “Yes, there is no appendix.”

I’d heard that Calvin Klein is bringing out a new fragrance… But it was just aroma.

George Bush has just announced that the floods in New Orleans are believed to be the work of a suicide plumber from Iraq.

My mate told me that he ate a blackberry today. I was wondering why he wouldn’t answer his phone..

I’ve just taken my new tennis racket out the wrapper to find its missing all its strings. It’s my own fault really, the shopkeeper said they have a ‘no returns’ policy.

For Sale: Replica Fisherman’s Knife (Made To Scale).

BBC NEWS: Afghan civilians killed by British drone Since when did Stephen Fry join the army?

‘…In the Christmas rush for wives and girlfriends to choose and buy their man a gift, why does the race always end up with a tie?’

My wife asked me to get her a couple of bits whilst I was out today… …she was really pleased when I came back with a whole byte.

I gave my dog a few beers last night. It’s fair to say he looked a bit ruff this morning.

Chlamydia. Spread the word.

I see cigarette papers have gone up in price again? I had to pay 75p for ‘The Marlboro Times’ this morning.

I make jokes whenever my wife walks into the room… Or – to put it another way – every time I see my wife, I start to gag.