Category: wordplay

Cardiff City in talks with potential new manager ‘Sheep Shearer’ I’m taking copyright for it now before The Daily Star does.

If you think Florence and The Machine’s new song “Spectrum” is good, you want to hear her next one “Commodore 64”

It was covered in disgusting ranch, so I stared at the salad, undressing it with my eyes.

“Escape From Auschwitz” Jew out soon.

Yesterday the judge sentenced my brother to life behind bars. Imagine having to serve drinks for the rest of your life.

My girlfriend said to me she felt our relationship was suffering because of a breakdown in communication, but I told her I wasn’t really that hungry.

“..and that concludes today’s invisibility lesson. Is everybody clear?”

My dad once strayed to close to a black hole and got pulled in. He didn’t fully appreciate the gravity of the situation.

Heard Morrissey is making a hip hop record. He’s a blacksmith now.

The wife says that my constantly demanding to know what she’s spending my money on is perverted. Eh? I’m not perverted, just buy-curious.

A mate of mine said a group of us “No one go left!” I said “Alright”

Whats a gravediggers favourite song? Everyday I’m shovelling

I was talking to a cube the other day, I couldn’t get a word in edgeways…

I was going to post a joke about U-boats but I just couldn’t find a subcategory.

I caught a man trying to break into my house last night. He was wearing American Football pads, swimming trunks, ice skates and holding a cricket bat. I said, “Oi, what’s your game?”