Category: wordplay

I’ve recently started a job retrieving litter. It didn’t require any training, I just picked it up as I went along.

My wife’s not very good when it comes to flying. I noticed that when I pushed her off the cliff.

The other day, I felt like a chicken. So I crossed the road and went to KFC.

People ask me how I come up with jokes concerning cream products on acne. Truth is, I make it up on the spot.

Yahoo news: “Murdoch turns on editor, lawyer in phone hacking probe” The rest of the court room found the finger sucking and gyrating a little uncomfortable.

I dropped my laptop off the side of a boat the other day. It’s a Dell, rolling in the deep.

I had a hard time watching the primary school nativity play.

Did you hear about the guy who ran naked through a crowded church? They caught him by the organ.

It’s just cost me two grand to get my girlfriend two pairs of shoes and have her nails done. I suppose I should expect nothing less when dating a horse.

I’ve been watching the golf for hours now and I’m getting rather bored. But it is brand new, I don’t have a garage and I live in a rough area.

I’m giving up E’s for Lnt

Did you sleep good? No, I made a couple of mistakes.

Heard in the news today that Drug Rhab are still trying to find out who took the E.

I know a bloke who is seeing the most ugly barf you could ever imagine. He lives on a farm and keeps bees and sells honey. Everyone keeps telling him to go and meet a half-decent looking bird but he insists he loves her. I guess beauty is in the eye of the beeholder.

I was frozen with fear when I realised several black men were following me …So I decided to cancel my Twitter account