Category: wordplay

Lopsided Christmas trees. I cant stand them.

My local gym just offered me free membership. Fat chance.

Im making a chicken bake tonight. Its about time i had a night off from cooking.

It is better to give than to receive… Thats my prison motto.

I made breakfast in bed this morning. I spilt eggs and milk all over the sheets.

I once went out with a girl with fiery red hair and a pale thin body. I met her on Match.com

I played poker with a crocodile last night. Lost a couple of hands.

My mate asked me if I wanted one of his dirty magazines. I said, “Yeah”. He gave me a fishing magazine with a coffee stain on the front.

I’m so well known at my local Caffeine Addicts Anonymous. They’ve got me down to a tea.

I have an addiction to Cheddar cheese. Although it’s only mild.

I did some research the other day into whether private or public schools were better. It wasn’t comprehensive.

Deafness is getting to become quite a problem for me lately. I never thought I’d hear myself say that.

I think my Stephen Hawking action figure is broken.

I just attached pieces of curved wood to the bottom of all my chairs. They rock.

People are always telling me to get fit. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.